The unlimited uses of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce this problem, should we discourage people to use cars?
At present,
people
are preferring
their own vehicles over public Wrong verb form
prefer
transportation
and this
trend is increasing day by day. Several problems are being caused because of this
such
as the decline of crude oil resources
for the future, environmental problems and respiratory diseases can be spread. This
issue can be tackled by encouraging people
to use public transportation
and making them aware of the consequences.
To begin
with, using private vehicles in large numbers can result in the depletion of crude oil resources
in the future. For instance
, scientists are assuming that these sources will be depleted by 2050. In addition
, the increase in motor vehicle usage can cause environmental pollution
such
as air pollution
. Environmental pollution
not only stops resulting air pollution
but also
will damage the ozone layer which helps people
to protect themselves from the harmful rays of the sun.
To prevent these problems, the government can assist with public transportation
for individuals. By using health-related surveys, authorities can explain the causes of the increasing number of motor cars on the roads. For example
, in Singapore, each and every person is using common methods for their travel and transportation
such
as trains or metro buses. Furthermore
, the government authorities are assured that to available those modes of transportation
are frequently
.
Correct word choice
available frequently
To conclude
, although
having a personal vehicle is a dream for everyone, as responsible people
in order to protect the environment and resources
for the future we can reduce the usage of motor cars. Moreover
, the government can help to promote public transportation
among the people
. Thereby, we can reduce the rate of depletion of resources
and environmental damage.Submitted by silumidayawardana on
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task achievement
Ensure that all main ideas are consistently expanded with examples, as sometimes the supporting details may seem slightly generic.
coherence cohesion
Although you provide a clear structure, try to enhance paragraph transitions to further improve coherence and flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the topic and provides a suitable conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
You effectively identify key problems arising from car usage and suggest solutions, addressing the essay prompt satisfactorily.
task achievement
The use of examples like Singapore enhances the essay by providing a practical solution, further supporting your points.