IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

#amount #six #consumer #goods #four #european #countries #report #university #lecturer #information
A glance at the chart provided reveals some
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about consumers who spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
.In
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
show examples
,
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
,
italy
Change the capitalization
Italy
show examples
 and
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
.One particular
points
Change to a singular noun
point
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that
is
Change the verb form
are
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 highlighted by the figure is that Britain is one of the biggest consumers among other countries. As it is clear,
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 in
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
show examples
 have a
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
 to
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
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money
 on photographic
film
,toys and CDs,with 170,167,165
tousand
Correct your spelling
thousand
 respectively.
In
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
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 they are less interested to spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
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 perfumes,tennis racquets,
personal
Correct word choice
and personal
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 stereos.
In addition
, in
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 photographic
film
,perfumes,
tennis
Correct word choice
and tennis
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 racquets are as same popular as each other with 150
tousand
Correct your spelling
thousand
.other tools are less important in
germany
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Germany
show examples
.
On the other hand
,buying toys in France and Italy has
a striking similarities
Correct the article-noun agreement
striking similarities
a striking similarity
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 with each other with just over the 155
tousand
Correct your spelling
thousand
.Italy
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 more
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 personal stereos,tennis racquets,
perfumes
Correct word choice
and perfumes
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 than
Frannce
Correct your spelling
France
.and photographic
film
 and CDs are interesting
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
 France people.
To conclude
,
according to
 the graph,photographic
film
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 one of the best enjoyable tools among
4
Correct article usage
the 4
show examples
countries that they expenditure more
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 part.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, film with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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