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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.

#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors
A glance at the pie charts provided reveals the best and the worst points
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned
Add a missing verb
were mentioned
show examples
 by
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 that
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
bowen
Change the capitalization
Bowen
show examples
 Island. As it is clear,
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 cost of living,first of all,was the
negatative
Correct your spelling
negative
 point,that 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Change preposition
of travelers
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 complain about.
In addition
,25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of visitors were unhappy
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 entertainment facilities
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Bowen Island.
Furthermore
,poor weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 and inappropriate quality of food with 15% and 10% respectively were
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
reaseons
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
 that people spoke about.
On the other hand
,there were some advantages that tourists experienced during their holiday.First and foremost,that
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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cite
Change the form of the verb
cited
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 in the survey,
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 behaviour towards them was pleasing.
Secondly
,35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
,were
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
sightseeing
Correct article usage
the sightseeing
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 and the scenery of the island.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
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further
 positive points that
mentioned
Add a missing verb
were mentioned
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 visitors were about good accommodation and
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 of the destination.Both had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strikinig
Correct your spelling
striking
 similarities in the survey with 11% and 12 % respectively.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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