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Band 5.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #ages #outweigh
At the moment families currently have children
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 older ages.Basically,
this
 mentality is in Western states, and in the eastern part,
people
 have children at an early age.On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 I agree and
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 I do not and I would like to write
this
 in my essay. I want to start by saying that I agree with
this
 because women and men will be ready for a child both psychologically and financially.
For example
, after
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 they study at the university for four years
then
 go to the magistracy and
then
 work in their
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 for several years and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they will be ready to create
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
 and have a baby.Another advantage is
people
 before creating a family and having a child
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
first meet for a long time study each other for a long time and
then
 build a family.
For instance
, the average age for marriage in America is 30, in Sweden 32, and in Italy and Spain 36. Would like to move on to the disadvantages of
this
 question.One of the main disadvantages of having children is health problems. After childbirth, older women develop diseases
such
 as constant headaches, falling hair and nails, joint pain, depression and being overweight.
For example
, 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 have
such
 health problems. In the end, I wanted to say that there are some pros and cons to having a child at an older age. All
people
 in
this
 world have their own plans for the future. Listen to your heart.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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