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Band 3

Business & cultural exchange between countries is increasing and this is thought to be a positive development by some. However, others believe that it might lead to loss of identity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#business #exchange #countries #development #loss #identity
undoubtedly it is true to say a large amount of the masses
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on the
news
 describing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
information
.
while
 others opine that we do not believe in
reporters
.I agree with the fact that
people
 depend on
reporters
 as
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 source of
information
.I do
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 agree journalists cannot be trusted. To commence with ,why do
people
 rely on
news
 reporting .there are multiple reasons for that notion.
Firstly
,
news
repoters
Correct your spelling
reporters
 not only provide
information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the incident but
also
 present at
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 place where
incident
Add an article
the incident
an incident
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 at the same time which aids
people
 to understand the scenario more deeply.
For example
,
accident
Add an article
an accident
show examples
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 in the taj hotel
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
mumbai
Change the capitalization
Mumbai
show examples
 .where
news
reporters
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
news
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
 are present outside the hotel in order to provide more and more
information
.
Although
 these days we get enormous options to collect
news
 like social media but traditional
reporters
 are
also
 crucial.
After wards
Correct your spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, some
people
 do not want to trust
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
journalists because of dirty politics
performing
Wrong verb form
performed
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
politicians
as well as
 large businessmen.they provide funding to
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
 for purpose of making fake
news
 and
hide
Wrong verb form
hiding
show examples
 some of their illegal works.
Thus
reporters
 have to work honestly and serve their
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
 so
people
 can trust them blindly.
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 laws
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
show examples
 should monitor
such
Add an article
the such
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of activities and grant hard punishment
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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