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Band 5

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #workplaces #work
These days modern
technology
 is becoming very popular and usage of
technology
 has improved in workplaces. I strongly believe that
technology
 has eased the jobs,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 certainly
some
Add a missing verb
has some
show examples
 negative impacts too. There is no doubt that
technology
 has facilitated work and made it
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of companies are using
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 doing their activities more quickly and simply rather than wasting time,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that
technology
 helps to manage time.
For instance
, nowadays creators are creating
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
show examples
 of computers
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of convenience. Computers help to make routine activities easier ,
such
 as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a list,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a report, account
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money,
however
, in the past, companies used to keep paper notes and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be lost and it is challenging to save for a long time.
Moreover
, modern
technology
 helps to work
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 long distances,
for example
, when people go on a trip or they feel sick , despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 they can rely on technological innovations.
On the other hand
, when
technology
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 thing in human life myriad of people lose their jobs and it leads to a huge rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 unemployment and
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increased responsibility for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Furthermore
,modern
technology
 cause to
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
laziness person and it leads to reduce imagination and intellect despite of
this
 it can affect on brain system.
In addition
 to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 it is hard to focus on their work because different kind of messages or social media and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can distract people.
To sum up
, technical innovations are improving, they change our daily life in workplaces and
also
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 things help to tackle problems which is including working methods.
However
, it can influence some aspects and make some drawbacks.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • software applications
  • high-speed internet
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • geographical boundaries
  • remote work
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • skill gaps
  • job displacement
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • dependency
  • security risks
  • data breaches
  • cyber attacks
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