Shops should not allowed to sell any food and drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The commercial store needs to stop selling edible
products
that consist of chemicals that will harm individuals' health.
This
essay is totally agreed to ban or not
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
shops to sell
food
and drink
products
that are not good for
people
's health, by doing that we can avoid the sickness caused by chemicals.
In addition
, it will help society to have a healthy lifestyle and improve individuals' productivity. There are some
food
and drink
products
that are mouth-watery and eye-appealing to the public,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
these can cause sickness.
such
as diabetes and colon cancer by consuming lots of junk foods and sugary sodas. For ,example study has proven that eating often instant noodles can
affects
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
people
's intestines
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cause cancer. In ,addition drinking soda
products
leads to high sugar and jeopardize human. By avoiding selling those
products
people
's lifestyles will be able to change from being unhealthy to becoming healthy well being and productivity will improve.
People
will encourage to eat and drink healthy
products
such
as fresh juices, vegetables and fruits.
Furthermore
, the family may have more bonding time by eating at home cooked by their parents.
For example
, in Japan
people
don't often eat in restaurants rather they are focusing on homemade
food
and cooked their own
food
at home and shared it together. In conclusion, banning to
sale
Add an article
the sale
show examples
of
food
and
drinks
Change the noun form
drink
show examples
products
that can cause harm to
people
's health and focusing rather on society's healthy lifestyle is most important.
Furthermore
, practising cooking at home has a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
effects not only on a healthy body but
also
on a healthy mind, not only for yourself but for the
people
around you.
Submitted by miemieperez on

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