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Band 7

Some people think that teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time. They believe that these will be helpful for both individual teenagers and local communities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #job #time #communities
Many people assert that teenagers should do volunteering in their spare time as it can be beneficial to both individuals and
society
. In my opinion, despite being a positive contribution to the community as a whole, it is not inappropriate to force teens to do unpaid jobs and I
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 disagree with
this
 opinion. In our globalized world, volunteering has been increasingly demanding for our
society
 since adults are struggling with their families’ financial burdens and they are not able to look after the elderly people who are in the need of help.
Furthermore
, there are tons of vacancies in essential volunteering projects
such
 as local charities, nursing homes, public libraries and environmental preservation projects.
For
this
 reason, most people think that teenagers are suitable to cope with these demanding unpaid jobs and it would be beneficial to our modern
society
.
On the contrary
, academic studies have been much more competitive than it was in the past and the atmosphere in classrooms has been challenging. Teens need to study continuously at a fast pace in order to not get behind their peers.
For instance
, in Myanmar, most students in secondary schools are doing extra curricula studies after all-day learning at public schools.
Hence
, teens are already under enough pressure with their educational schedules and
society
 should not force them to do unpaid jobs in their leisure time rather than encouraging them to take a rest.
To conclude
, even though teens’ contribution to volunteering might be beneficial to our
society
, they should be able to recharge their energies after a hectic day at school
instead
.
Submitted by Hein Htet Aung on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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