IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005.

#value #exports #fuel #food #goods #country
The graphs compare the
value
 of three selected exports and the total
value
 of
goods
 , which were measured in
million
dollars
 , over a 6-year time period from 2000 to 2005 . In general , the total
value
 of
fuel
 exports increased significantly after 2002.
Whereas
 , the second line graph depicts ,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 manufactured
goods
 and for
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two categories ; it reported
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decrease and
stable
Replace the word
stability
show examples
 throughout the year. To be specific,
fuel
 was the item that was exported the most in 2000 and it accounted for 45000
million
dollars
.
Whereas
 , the other two
goods
 made up around 18000
million
dollars
 in that year .
However
 , after 3 years the rate of
fuel
 in the country decreased dramatically and it continued until 2005 and reached 20000
million
dollars
 .
While
 for manufactured
goods
 the
value
 increased moderately and reported 220000
million
dollars
 in the final year .
Whereas
 , for food ,items it remained stable and it
finally
 constituted 50000
million
dollars
 in 2005. Meanwhile , the total
value
 of
fuel
 exports in 2000 was 300000
million
dollars
 .
However
 , after the past 3 years , it reported a drastic fall in its rating . But in following years it rose significantly and reached a peak of 440000
million
dollars
 in 2005
Submitted by varshajose345 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words value, goods, million, dollars, fuel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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