There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

this

modern era of rising societal standards, there has been an increase in stress among

students

due to

extremely busy schedules, and I believe removing non-academic

subjects

from

students

' timetables will improve their performance.

Strees

Correct your spelling

Streets

have become a common phenomenon among

students

, unfortunately, and

this

may manifest

due to

the pressure to succeed academically, the challenge of managing their time between classes and extracurriculars, and the lack of support that many

students

receive from teachers. and the solution to

this

may be found in removing some non-academic

subjects

such

as physical education

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they do not contribute significantly to a student's academic success and they can prevent

students

from giving their full attention to more effective

subjects

, which I mean more important

subjects

such

as math and chemistry, which are difficult and time-consuming

subjects

that have a greater impact on GPA than the others; by eliminating them,

students

may have more time to focus on them. Some people may argue that removing non-academic

subjects

may prevent

students

from engaging in extracurricular activities, but in fact, it may help

students

to involve in an interesting self-discovery journey by giving them the chance and time to discover the world outside of school hours and get themselves involved in voluntary work, which may improve their

overall

knowledge and abilities and provide them with the opportunities to develop themselves in multiple directions. In conclusion, I stand by my belief that removing non-academic

subjects

can reduce stress among

students

and help them to perform better.

Submitted by talastring on Sat Feb 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the recent business world, the majority of the C level positions are occupied by males despite the high number of famale workers. Therefore, some people contend the notion that the allocation of these positions should be in alignment with a predefined percentage between two genders. Although in many rich counties, the value of famale employees is impeccable, however it is my contention that appointing people according to their gender should not be rationalized among companies as it will create further complications.
5.5
band
The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, the continuous development of technology , criminal activities are now more easily detected and prevented. People believe that this development contributed to reducing crime rates. I will completely agree with this statement and give my supportive points in this essay.
6.5
band
You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: explain the situation tell him/her how you are effected by this Suggest what you want the landlord to do
I am writing a complain regarding the noise problem at my house.
6
band
With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?
Despite the rapid growth in technology development, students have more ability to access the internet than in the past. This behaviour is leading to some problems in their lives. This essay will present issues and possible solutions that could result in reducing undesirable circumstances.
6
band
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays,many individuals tend to purchase products in famous malls rather than small shops,therefore street shopping has been drastically deteriorating day by day,it leads to keep their business in loss,so they halted their store rooms.In my view,there are positive outcomes to this development and this essay will go into better detail on both the cases with my subject view.

Fully explain your ideas

many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: explain the situation tell him/her how you are effected by this Suggest what you want the landlord to do

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative development?