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Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work
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In
this
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 modern era of rising societal standards, there has been an increase in stress among
students
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due to
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 extremely busy schedules, and I believe removing non-academic
subjects
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 from
students
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' timetables will improve their performance.
Strees
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Streets
 have become a common phenomenon among
students
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, unfortunately, and
this
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 may manifest
due to
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 the pressure to succeed academically, the challenge of managing their time between classes and extracurriculars, and the lack of support that many
students
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 receive from teachers. and the solution to
this
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 may be found in removing some non-academic
subjects
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,
such
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 as physical education
,
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apply
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 because they do not contribute significantly to a student's academic success and they can prevent
students
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 from giving their full attention to more effective
subjects
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, which I mean more important
subjects
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,
such
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 as math and chemistry, which are difficult and time-consuming
subjects
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 that have a greater impact on GPA than the others; by eliminating them,
students
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 may have more time to focus on them. Some people may argue that removing non-academic
subjects
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 may prevent
students
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 from engaging in extracurricular activities, but in fact, it may help
students
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 to involve in an interesting self-discovery journey by giving them the chance and time to discover the world outside of school hours and get themselves involved in voluntary work, which may improve their
overall
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 knowledge and abilities and provide them with the opportunities to develop themselves in multiple directions. In conclusion, I stand by my belief that removing non-academic
subjects
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 can reduce stress among
students
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 and help them to perform better.
Submitted by talastring on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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