IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that because we can now watch films on our phones, there is no reason to go to the cinema. Others say that films should be seen in a cinema in order to be fully enjoyed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

it
Fix capitalization
It
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 is true that there are several ways to watch a film
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as watching it on a mobile phone or going to the cinema. It is considered by many that in order to be fully
enjoyed
Punctuation problem
enjoyed,
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 you should go to the cinema. In the following paragraphs, the reasons that support both views will be discussed. On the one hand, some people said it is convenient because it is able to watch anywhere and anytime.
In addition
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, if you would like to do other activities
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for
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, for
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 instance
going
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, going
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 to the restroom during the time that you watch the
movie
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movie,
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 you can stop it and continue when you are available.
On the other hand
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, some believe that watching movies in the cinema impacts emotion rather than watching films on mobile phones.
Firstly
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,
It
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it
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 contains special techniques
such
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 as 4D
which
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, which
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 make you feel like you are in the story
while
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 phones are disabled.
Secondly
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, the atmosphere
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 to enjoy the films.
For example
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,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 dark and quiet atmosphere helps you to feel more scared if you watch a horror film. To summarise, both ways contain advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, it depends on the name of the movie that I selected.

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task response
Make your view clear in the intro and at the end. Say what you think and why, in simple words.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use simple words like 'also', 'but', 'so' to show order and to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Check small grammar and use easy forms. Watch 'a', 'the', and plural 's' so sentences read right.
content
You try to talk about both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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