IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more importang things, what is your opinion?

I firmly believe that space exploration is important to the growth of knowledge of the galaxy by humankind. Despite that, a decrease in investment in
this
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 area is strongly recommended because investing in education and health is more urgent at the moment. In
this
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 context, the advancement of technology in medicine is necessary because
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due
Punctuation problem
, due
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 to global warming and the destruction of vegetation
a
Punctuation problem
, a
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range of diseases exclusive to animals are contaminating humans.
Furthermore
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, with a higher boost in monetary
support
Punctuation problem
support,
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 new vaccines could be created to help humanity's health, which would bring more
boons
Check wording
benefits
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 than investing in space exploration
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 would only bring knowledge about the universe.
In addition
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, the increase in monetary support for education would give children from the ghettos to have a better chance to improve their lives, albeit the poverty would plummet.
As a consequence
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 of that,
would
Correct pronoun usage
there would
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 be an evolution of society
ad
Use the right word
and
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 a general leading to improvement.
On the other hand
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, a universe expedition makes it possible
a
Verb problem
to have a
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better understanding of how our galaxy works. To commence, the significant breakthrough in astronomy studies assists in advancing a country`s standing on the global stage.
This
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 would lead to technological progress, which helps humanity understand how to improve the Earth and the boons and pitfalls of certain actions.
To sum up
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, universe exploration is necessary
,
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;
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however
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, a better distribution of investment is highly recommended to improve other fields.
Moreover
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, NASA should
also
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 incentivise children to become engineers
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 would result in highly qualified space engineers.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and stay with it. The text should not shift to other ideas too soon.
coherence cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a simple idea and end with a small reminder of the point.
task response
Give more solid examples to back up your claim. Show why this point matters.
structure
You show both sides of the issue and you give a final idea.
argument
There is a clear end sentence that sums up idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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