Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group acitivities in their free time. Others say that this is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#say #parents #children #part #group #acitivities #time

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It is thought by a selection of individuals that minors should be motivated to

work

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in well-arranged

group

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activities

while

Linking Words

others believe that it is better to let them learn by themselves. In

this

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essay, both viewpoints will be discussed before reaching my opinion which is both of them have their own positive elements. At the outset, there are several upsides of taking part in organised

group

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tasks and one of the most significant is that children can improve their teamwork

skills

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. To elaborate

further

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, communication

skills

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will be improved by a high level of synergy between

group

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members.

Moreover

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, the new generation can learn how to be good listeners in order to achieve productive and fruitful goals. An apt illustration of

this

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is that my aunt always put his son into their village's activities, which would separate children in the village into 3 groups and compete with each other

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because she wanted a child to grasp and understand how to

work

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as a team and reduce his ego.

Besides

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, she strived to let her offspring kick his habit of talking too much and replace it with a good habit which was listening. On the other side of the coin, it is a fact that learning by themselves can offer a number of merits to teenagers and the most crucial one is individual

skills

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. To explain in greater detail, it will improve their time management

skills

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and

therefore

Linking Words

they will get familiar with it before starting their adulthood.

Furthermore

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, personal

skills

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such

Linking Words

problem solving

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problem-solving

show examples

are required when they

work

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in companies as they have to find ways to tackle and cope with spanking new issues all the time. To specifically demonstrate, when I was

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middle school, there was one of my friends who loved to

work

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by himself alone and

last

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year, he received a prestigious reward as the best employee, recognized for solving problems promptly and meeting deadlines consistently. All in all, it is undeniable that working as a

group

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or individual provides children with plenty of benefits.

Hence

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, it depends on parents what

skills

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they want their offspring to enhance and sharpen;

for instance

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, adults can choose

group

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work

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if teamwork

skills

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are needed or self-learning if individual

skills

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are required.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Sat Jun 08 2024

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general

Make sure to maintain a clear and consistent viewpoint throughout the essay to ensure clear comprehensive ideas.

content

Continue to provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points; they greatly enhance the strength of your argument.

content

The essay provides a well-balanced discussion of both viewpoints and includes relevant examples to support the main points.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly frame the essay’s content, providing a strong start and finish to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

375 words

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Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group acitivities in their free time. Others say that this is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.