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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below compare the proportion of energy capacity in gigawatts (GW) in 2015 with the predictions for 2040.

The pie charts below compare the proportion of energy capacity in gigawatts (GW) in 2015 with the predictions for 2040.
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These two pie charts illustrate the comparison of energy
generation
Use synonyms
 by using different
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
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percentagewise
Correct your spelling
percentages
 in 2015 and future
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts
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 for 2040
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
also
Linking Words
 compare total capacity in gigawatts.
Overall
Linking Words
, fossil fuels accounted for the biggest proportion of energy
generation
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and
according to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the forecast
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forecast
Add a comma
,forecast
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 it will have stayed the biggest segment of
power
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
 by 2040.
Additionally
Linking Words
, percentages for other renewables and nuclear sources approximately will be the same in 2040, as these were in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, there will be a considerable increase in using of solar and wind energy in 2040.
Moreover
Linking Words
, total generating will double in 2040 from 6,688 GW to 11,678 GW. In 2015, fossil fuels were the primary source of
power
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 number will have decreased by 20% to only 44% by 2040.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the figures for wind and nuclear sources
also
Linking Words
 will have
a
Remove the article
apply
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growth to 21% and 5% respectively. As for solar
power
Use synonyms
, there will be a remarkable increase from a modest 2% to over a quarter (18%) which will make it the
third highest
Add a hyphen
third-highest
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 category.
Besides
Linking Words
, the figures for wind
power
Use synonyms
 will witness a significant rise
by
Change preposition
from
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 7% to 12%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, also, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words generation, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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