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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many studies have shown that most criminals have a low level of education. Some people say that to reduce the crime rate, criminals must be educated within prisons. It will improve their prospects of employment when they are released. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#studies #criminals #level #education #people #crime #rate #prisons #prospects #employment
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Many investigations indicate that inadequate
education
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 is the most common characteristic of
criminals
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. Some
people
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 argue that providing compulsory
education
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 to
criminals
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 in prison can effectively reduce the crime rate. In my view, I am in favour of
this
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 statement because not only do
criminals
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 can be learned professional skills for future employment, but
also
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 it can rebuild their personalities.
First,
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people
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 can be provided more opportunities to find a job by getting useful skills through
education
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.
For example
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, wall painting,
such
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 as construction workers' skills, may be able to help
criminals
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 to get a secure job when they are released. It can be foreseen that a stable source of earning money can reduce the crime rate because their life is satisfied by enough remuneration, and
then
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people
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 will not take a risk to get extra money through crimes.
Second,
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another feature of
education
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 is that their characteristics can be improved by importing a correct sense of value.
For example
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, the government can introduce some lessons about how
people
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 can get far away from crimes in an interpersonal communication environment taught by psychologists
such
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 as refusing money and drug attractions , so
criminals
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, especially those who are still teenagers, can have a clear and profound consciousness of crime and will not tend to do it again. In summary,
education
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 not only means getting academic achievement but can build a path for us to be better.
Therefore
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, it can be implemented for
criminals
Use synonyms
 during imprisonment, giving a second chance for them to contribute to the world.
Submitted by sam132457 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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