Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, high-economy
countries
are giving
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
to low-income
countries
. But some people think that developed
countries
should support poorer
countries
in different ways. I agree
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that other types of
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
including educational improvement, and programs for young ages could be more beneficial than
money
. First of all, rich
countries
donate
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
to poorer
countries
because it gives opportunity to them spending
money
on
proper
Add an article
the proper
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
, and
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
to gain its amount. Actually, it is better to give cash to poorer
countries
since local people know more about their situation, and where
this
money
should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
. Their government will choose
field
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the field
a field
show examples
which is needed to take investment immediately, and it could reach its goal.
Secondly
, there are many opportunities to grow
money
taken from rich
countries
if they take proper action. It would lead to more beneficial results
such
as
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
new cities
,
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apply
show examples
and
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
property by spending more
money
. Even
tough
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
to poor
countries
could lead to positive results, helping them
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
other ways would be more advantageous. Big economy
countries
should help poor
countries
by developing their educational system, and special programs
among
Change preposition
for
show examples
young ages. It is proven that education is
reliable
Add an article
a reliable
show examples
resource
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
development
. There is a survey that
signification
Correct article usage
a signification
show examples
amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
uneducated in poorer
countries
. Investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
educational
instititutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
such
as
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
, secondary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and
kindergarten
Fix the agreement mistake
kindergartens
show examples
could bring positive results in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
future.
This
will produce skilled specialists who can work on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country's
development
.
Additionally
, it is useful to start
development
programs
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
kids since they are
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. Working on children's living
ability
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abilities
show examples
and soft
skill
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skills
show examples
will be beneficial to solve property
,
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apply
show examples
because these skilled kids will become high-salary workers.
As a result
, rich
countries
often send
money
to low-income
countries
which could be good to spend
this
money
on
proper
Add an article
the proper
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or gain its amount. But innovating their educational system, and working on children's
development
will be better than financial aid.
Submitted by ganorgil0927 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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