IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

prevention is better than cure. research and treatment are costly, it is beneficial in investing in preventive measures

#prevention #cure #research #treatment #measures
Investment in the healthcare sector by the government and private entities has been humongous in the past decade. A time has been reached when health has become a luxury. Advancement and integration of medicine and technology have led to novel treatment protocols for various complex illnesses.
Hence
, getting treatment has become expensive.
Therefore
, some concerned parties contend that investing in preventive measures would benefit an individual financially and could guarantee a better quality of life. I believe focussing on prevention is not just an alternative for better financial satisfaction. It minimizes the palliative period a person must undergo.
Firstly
,
for example
, contracept measures
such
 as condoms, contraceptive pills or Copper T have increased the success rate in preventing accidental pregnancies.
This
 pulled back females from getting abortions , which involve various risks to the patient and contribute to the 10-15 per cent mortality rate.
This
 has been encouraged by the governments of various countries by providing free condoms and contraceptive pills to people of low socioeconomic status.
For instance
, India has taken initiative in conducting classes on reproductive health for people of the third tier to bring awareness among the population.
Secondly
, lifestyle diseases
such
 as diabetes, and hypertension have been rampant in developed countries
as a result
 of a sedentary lifestyle. Advancement in the medical sector has led to high-quality, high-cost treatments for these conditions. Rather than spending hard-earned money on these medications, people should be encouraged to invest time in preventing these conditions.
For example
, a brisk walk after a course of meals can reduce blood sugar. A low-salt diet can prevent a person from hypertension. Practising meditation thrice a week can relieve stress which in turn keeps the body out of inflammation. In
this
 ,way a happy, healthy society can be built.
Submitted by namzadtp.tp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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