IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a growing debate about whether
students
Use synonyms
 in secondary
school
Use synonyms
 should study international
news
Use synonyms
 as one of their courses. There are contrasting opinions on
this
Linking Words
 issue. Some individuals claim that
such
Linking Words
 a
subject
Use synonyms
 is so valuable,
whereas
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 argue that it is a total waste of studying
hours
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I personally consider that it would be a positive addition
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the curriculum of secondary
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, many people support the idea that secondary
students
Use synonyms
 should study international
news
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
. They have come to
this
Linking Words
 conclusion primarily because plenty of individuals nowadays do not have knowledge about what is happening outside their country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they believe that if there was a
subject
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 about global
news
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 issue would be minimized in the future. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 will have already been updated in order to get good grades or pass the course.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
others
Use synonyms
 argue that
this
Linking Words
 addition will cost valuable
school
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in order to add a new
subject
Use synonyms
 to the curriculum, some
others
Use synonyms
 must be removed or the
hours
Use synonyms
 of plenty of courses must be decreased.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 addition will come at the cost of other more significant subjects which will be either removed entirely or decreased in
hours
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, their belief is that the secondary
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum has already been extremely pressed and any course additions are not possible. All in all,
while
Linking Words
 some people claim that it is necessary for secondary schools to have a
subject
Use synonyms
 about global
news
Use synonyms
,
others
Use synonyms
 support that
this
Linking Words
 would come at the cost of more important courses. From my perspective, I think that both sides have valid points, but it seems to me that the benefit of
students
Use synonyms
 being updated about international developments outweighs the drawback of some subjects being decreased in
hours
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea and develops it fully. For example, consider expanding on the reasons why studying international news can help students engage with current events.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate key points, such as citing particular global events that have impacted students’ understanding in the past.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect the conclusion back to the main arguments presented in the essay to provide a stronger summary of your perspective.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument in a balanced way, which enhances the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, allowing the reader to follow your argument easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Global citizenship
  • Cultural diversity
  • Communication skills
  • Historical context
  • World affairs
  • Academic subjects
  • Bias
  • Misinformation
  • Age-appropriate
  • Media literacy
  • Educational enrichment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: