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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Happiness is considered very important in life, but it is hard to define. Why is happiness difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

#happiness #life #factors
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It is true that
happiness
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 plays a significant role in our life,
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while
Correct word choice
but
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people
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 can seldom define it precisely. Defining
happiness
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 can be
such
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 a tough question because of different personal
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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,
however
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, by finding
appropriate
Correct article usage
the appropriate
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 approach, everyone can achieve their own
happiness
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 even though different
people
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 may have different opinions on it.
Happiness
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 can be difficult to define mainly
due to
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 the fact that individual requirement is not all the same. To be specific,
people
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 who are struggling with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of food or clothes
,
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apply
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 may pay more attention
on
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to
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 how to figure out their living problems,
hence
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, they will urgently attribute all of
time
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the time
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on
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to
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 their work to generate enough money for living, in
this
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 occasion, they may define
happiness
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 as having a spacious place to live, or having sufficient food to eat. Compared with
low
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low-income
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income
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people
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,
people
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 with higher
income
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 may have already fulfilled their basic safety and physiological needs, they probably are prone to focus on how to achieve phycological needs,
such
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 as esteem, self-authentication, and even transcendence,
instead
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 of defining
happiness
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 as having enough necessities, the majority of them will define
happiness
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 as the fulfilment of mental demands. Given the fact that
people
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 tend to have
different
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a different
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definition
Fix the agreement mistake
definitions
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about
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of
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happiness
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, I hold that
people
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 can achieve it by different methods. For the
low
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low-income
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income
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 group, survival is their first principle, which means,
income
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 and living environment are the most important factor for them,
hence
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, finding
a
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apply
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stable work or a high payment part-time job may be crucial for them to achieve
happiness
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.
However
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,
for
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apply
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
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income
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people
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, they may already have a highly rewarding
job
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jobs
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, so some emotional factors,
such
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 as family
relationship
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relationships
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, and social esteem can have a larger impact on their
happiness
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. In conclusion,
although
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happiness
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 is hard to define, different
people
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 can achieve it by different means.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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