The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should put art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subjects such as information technology. What extent do you agree or disagree?

The training of
children
in the modern world is the greatest responsibility of the Ministry of Education. The elimination of unnecessary
subjects
such
as
art
and
music
is considered necessary to focus on
subjects
that help
children
develop intellectually and technically. I do not agree with
this
view.
While
other
subjects
are just as important for
children
,
art
and
music
are no less.
First,
images and sounds are the beginning of knowledge, every child always begins to explore the world from the images they see and the sounds they hear. It has a profound effect on a child's behaviour later in
life
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
if a boy watches others fight he is more likely to become violent or
another
Correct word choice
if another
show examples
boy listens to positive
children
's
music
. he will become cheerful and full of
life
.
Therefore
, drawing beautiful pictures and listening to the right
music
will help
children
develop in a good direction.
Secondly
,
art
and
music
have a huge influence on our
life
and society,
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
the house we live in,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
music
we listen to when we are stressed, all need participation. of two people.
this
subject
. Leaving
art
and
music
out of the curriculum is a very risky step because it will lose the diversity and wonder of
life
as well as
human
life
because without artists there will be no effect feature films to enjoy,
without
Correct word choice
and without
show examples
the architect the house would not be safe and beautiful to live in and do business, without the musician
life
would be extremely quiet because there
aren't
Change the verb form
isn't
show examples
any sound attractive, society looks like a black and white picture without colour without sound. But think again and again, you should not force your child to study all
subjects
because that will cause a lot of pressure and bring no effect at all.
Instead
, why not let
children
learn the
subjects
they want, when it is not only highly effective but
also
has the ability to find genius because once
children
have learned a
subject
they really love, they will want to learn more. Learn more about it. that
subject
, study the higher things of the
subject
you like. Genius is not forcing yourself to know everything, genius is simply knowing and discovering what you like.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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