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Writing Samples
Band 6

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should put art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subjects such as information technology. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#role #education #children #world #schools #art #music #curriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology
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The training of
children
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 in the modern world is the greatest responsibility of the Ministry of Education. The elimination of unnecessary
subjects
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such
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 as
art
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 and
music
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 is considered necessary to focus on
subjects
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 that help
children
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 develop intellectually and technically. I do not agree with
this
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 view.
While
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 other
subjects
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 are just as important for
children
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,
art
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 and
music
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 are no less.
First,
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images and sounds are the beginning of knowledge, every child always begins to explore the world from the images they see and the sounds they hear. It has a profound effect on a child's behaviour later in
life
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,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 if a boy watches others fight he is more likely to become violent or
another
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if another
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 boy listens to positive
children
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's
music
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. he will become cheerful and full of
life
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.
Therefore
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, drawing beautiful pictures and listening to the right
music
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 will help
children
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 develop in a good direction.
Secondly
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,
art
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 and
music
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 have a huge influence on our
life
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 and society,
for
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example
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,example
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 the house we live in,
the
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and the
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music
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 we listen to when we are stressed, all need participation. of two people.
this
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subject
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. Leaving
art
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 and
music
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 out of the curriculum is a very risky step because it will lose the diversity and wonder of
life
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as well as
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 human
life
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 because without artists there will be no effect feature films to enjoy,
without
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and without
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 the architect the house would not be safe and beautiful to live in and do business, without the musician
life
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 would be extremely quiet because there
aren't
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isn't
show examples
 any sound attractive, society looks like a black and white picture without colour without sound. But think again and again, you should not force your child to study all
subjects
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 because that will cause a lot of pressure and bring no effect at all.
Instead
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, why not let
children
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 learn the
subjects
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 they want, when it is not only highly effective but
also
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 has the ability to find genius because once
children
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 have learned a
subject
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 they really love, they will want to learn more. Learn more about it. that
subject
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, study the higher things of the
subject
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 you like. Genius is not forcing yourself to know everything, genius is simply knowing and discovering what you like.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural education
  • globally connected world
  • problem-solving skills
  • critical thinking
  • well-rounded education
  • self-expression
  • mental health impacts
  • digital art
  • music production
  • technology-driven careers
  • academic performance
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional development
  • creative subjects
  • enrich creativity
  • foster a sense of achievement
  • stress relief
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