The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should put art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subjects such as information technology. What extent do you agree or disagree?

The training of

children

Use synonyms

in the modern world is the greatest responsibility of the Ministry of Education. The elimination of unnecessary

subjects

Use synonyms

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

art

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

music

Punctuation problem

music,

show examples

is considered necessary to focus on

subjects

Use synonyms

that help

children

Use synonyms

develop intellectually and technically. I do not agree with

this

Linking Words

view.

While

Linking Words

other

subjects

Use synonyms

are just as important for

children

Use synonyms

art

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and

music

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are no less

Correct word choice

important.

show examples

First,

Linking Words

images and sounds are the beginning of knowledge

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

every child always begins to explore the world from the images they see and the sounds they hear. It has a profound effect on a child's behaviour later in

life

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for

Linking Words

example

Punctuation problem

example,

show examples

if a boy watches others

fight

Punctuation problem

fight,

show examples

he is more likely to become violent

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

Correct word choice

if another

show examples

another

Correct determiner usage

show examples

boy listens to positive

children

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

show examples

he will become cheerful and full of

life

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Therefore

Linking Words

, drawing beautiful pictures and listening to the right

music

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will help

children

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develop in a good direction.

Secondly

Linking Words

art

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and

music

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have a huge influence on our

life

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and society,

for

Linking Words

example

Punctuation problem

example,

show examples

the house we live in, the

music

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we listen to when we are stressed, all need participation. of two people.

this

Linking Words

subject

Use synonyms

. Leaving

art

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and

music

Use synonyms

out of the curriculum is a very risky step because it will lose the diversity and wonder of

life

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

human

life

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because without artists there will be no effect feature films to enjoy, without the architect the house would not be safe and beautiful to live in and do business, without the musician

life

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would be extremely quiet because there aren't any sound attractive, society looks like a black and white picture without colour without sound. But think again and again, you should not force your child to study all

subjects

Use synonyms

because that will cause a lot of pressure and bring no effect at all.

Instead

Linking Words

, why not let

children

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learn the

subjects

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they want, when it is not only highly effective but

also

Linking Words

has the ability to find

genius

Punctuation problem

genius,

show examples

because once

children

Use synonyms

have learned a

subject

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they really love, they will want to learn more. Learn more about it.

that

Fix capitalization

That

show examples

subject

Use synonyms

, study the higher things of the

subject

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you like. Genius is not forcing yourself to know everything

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

genius is simply knowing and discovering what you like.

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Feb 26, 2023

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improvement

Task response: Make your view in clear words in the first lines. Say more on why art and music should stay and lose the idea of taking out. End with a short conclusion that restates the view.

improvement

Coherence and cohesion: Use clear link words to connect ideas. Start a new paragraph for each big idea. Check how sentences flow and put punctuation well.

improvement

Content: Give precise examples and explain how art and music help learning or life. Avoid general statements that are not backed up.

strength

The writer shows a clear view against removing art and music.

strength

Some links to life and work show some effort to value art and music.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

373 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
cultural education
globally connected world
problem-solving skills
critical thinking
well-rounded education
self-expression
mental health impacts
digital art
music production
technology-driven careers
academic performance
intellectual growth
emotional development
creative subjects
enrich creativity
foster a sense of achievement
stress relief

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should put art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subjects such as information technology. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the news has no connection to people's life's so it is waste of time to read the news paper and watching television news programs to what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. It has a negative effect on families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?