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Band 4.5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #zoos
Animals
 are kept in
zoos
 all around the world.
Zoos
 are used as a tourist
attraction
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attractions
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 by most countries which requires wild
animals
 of different species to be present there, I think
zoos
 are not a place to keep wild
animals
 and they should be kept in their natural habitat. There are many reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
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why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals
 should be kept in their natural habitat and not in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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zoos
,
first
Add a comma
,first
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 they are a precious gift of God
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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thrive
Change the verb form
thrives
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 in
natural
Add an article
a natural
the natural
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environment
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environments
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 with challenges and celebrations. They should be kept in animal parks or safari where they can feel less caged and freer. We don't need
zoos
 to appreciate the beauty of these creatures, they can be seen over the internet or
people
 can visit their countries to have a look at them and feel happy for them in their natural environment.
Moreover
,
zoos
 take advantage of animal misery and make money from it which is why
zoos
 should be closed and govt. should act against them rather than
earning
Wrong verb form
earn
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 money from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
However
, many
people
 think
zoos
 are an excellent place to educate their children about wild
animals
 and their behaviour. They are a safe place for wild
animals
 and these
animals
 can be protected
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and avoid extinction.
In addition
 to
this
people
also
 feel that
zoos
 are a positive way to earn money and tourism.
For example
, in
Sydney
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,Sydney
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 many tourists frequently visit the Taronga zoo. In conclusion,
people
 feel that
zoos
 are good places to keep wild
animals
. I believe
zoos
 should close we don't need
animals
 to suffer because of us, we can look for these wild
animals
 and their behaviour over the internet or travel to them and be happy for these creatures living in their natural habitat. We must close all
zoos
 in the future.
Submitted by jiwani.s.karim on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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