The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table shows the data for what the mean scores of IELTS takers from four different categories and four languages in the IELTS General Test in 2010. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that students who got the
German
test have the highest
overall
score among the other three tests, and speaking became the part that entrants are the most successful in general.
According to
the table, the listening part was done better by
German
and French
exam
takers compared to Malay and
Indonesian
exam
takers. The average points from listening in
German
and French tests were 6.8 and 6.3 respectively,
whereas
6.3 and 6.2 were the mean scores for
Indonesian
and Malay exams. Another noticeable trend was, points in French and
Indonesian
tests were the same in terms of listening and reading, which were 6.3 and 6.1 respectively. The category of writing was the part
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Malay
exam
was taken
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
lowest point at 6.0,
while
the
German
exam
was gotten the highest. (6.6) These figures were broadly similar to speaking scores. Generally, students got the lowest on the
Indonesian
language test.
Submitted by emineknc on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words german, exam, indonesian with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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