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Band 5

some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time .This can benefit teenageers and the community as well .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit #teenageers
Teenage is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one of the crucial
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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 in one's
life
 as during
this
 age itself, a person can able to explore and understand the wide horizons of
life
in
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from
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societal
Add an article
a societal
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 perspective. Teenagers during
this
 time are naive and delicate in terms of
maturaity
Correct your spelling
maturity
, social roles and
responsiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. Depending on their cultivation, they can
be later resulted
Change to the active voice
later result
show examples
 beneficial or an obstacle in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Hence
, I firmly opined that they should be taught and
educate
Wrong verb form
educated
show examples
 about positive works and one of them is doing unpaid community work. Nowadays, various schools,
colleges
Correct word choice
and colleges
show examples
 have
collborated
Correct your spelling
collaborated
 with different NGOs to make their students
to
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apply
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work voluntarily in various activities.
For instance
, my school has started arranging a trip to
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 age house once
in
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apply
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a month, where they take students there and teach them to serve the poor old age people in their daily
life
 activities.
This
 impacts the student's mindset positively which benefits them in their
perosnal
Correct your spelling
personal
life
 as well
such
 that they understand the situation of old people and
hence
 make a lovely bonding with their elder family , i.e., grandfather and grandmother. Parents can
also
 contribute
in
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to
show examples
 imbibing
the
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apply
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good thoughts in teenagers. They can send their children to an orphanage or any religious
center
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centre
show examples
in
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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nearby. In
such
centers
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centres
show examples
, they get to know the poor unlucky children and their
life
 situation, donate
them
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their
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 gifts,
teach
Correct word choice
and teach
show examples
 them some academic subjects.
This
 will be advantageous to everyone
such
 as,
for instance
, the temple, church would get some volunteers who can help them in their preaching activities. The orphans would
also
 get cheered up to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the gifts and learn new skills and knowledge.
At
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Last
show examples
last
, I reiterate that teenage and teenagers can be moulded in any shape and
hence
 nourishing them with some community work will certainly make them realize
about
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apply
show examples
their moral duties as a citizen, which would
subsequently
 lead to a better country.
Submitted by mistryutsav000 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • teenagers
  • free time
  • benefit
  • responsibility
  • empathy
  • skills
  • learning opportunities
  • freedom
  • resentment
  • motivation
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