After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

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Although

Linking Words

the punishment was created to stop crime, many criminals continue to

make

Verb problem

commit

show examples

new crimes after their first imprisonment. In that essay, I will explain why it is happening and what should be done to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. The prison was created to change the community in order to not repeat their actions again. Actually, I think it does not work because the prison just keeps people in a cage without any moral, or psychological help.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the person

locates

Wrong verb form

is located

show examples

among similar

offenders

Use synonyms

like him or worse. They make their own hierarchy where strong people often use weak people.

In addition

Linking Words

after being punished,

offenders

Use synonyms

can not get a job because they committed a crime.

As a result

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, the offender who is abused by others and does not have money becomes very angry and grumpy, leading to new criminals. In my opinion, a possible solution to

this

Linking Words

problem would be to change the prison system.

Firstly

Linking Words

, we need to develop judicial decisions and create

such

Linking Words

conditions in prisons that would contribute to improving the personality of criminals and help them reform.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will improve the situation in the jail and the crowd will become less callous and meaner with each other.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a good way will be to find jobs for

offenders

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as telephone operators, sweepers, and other easy jobs. It is necessary to distribute the job

according to

Linking Words

their speciality or if they have no experience at all,

then

Linking Words

some kind of construction work so that they get some money to find housing for themselves. In conclusion, if the type of punishment

will remain

Wrong verb form

remains

show examples

the same, nothing will change and the number of crimes will continue to grow.

However

Linking Words

, if the government will take care of the system and help the

offenders

Use synonyms

find work,

then

Linking Words

in the future the number of crimes will be significantly reduced.

adi2215Sun Feb 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing the reasons for repeated criminal behavior and proposing specific measures to tackle the problem.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rehabilitation
reintegration
recidivism
underlying issues
support systems
criminal networks
peer pressure
barriers
psychological assessment
addiction treatment
economic factors
sentencing
data analysis
community-based programs
restorative justice
vocational training
social inequalities
preventive measures
post-release
crime cycle

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After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Your opinion

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

Art is considered to be essential to all cultures throughout the world. However, today fewer and fewer appreciate art and turn their attention to science, technology and business. Why do you think this is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?