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Band 5.5

Now people performed everyday task such as banking shopping and business transactions without meeting one another. What possible effects in individuals and society. what are socialized drawbacks on this concept against benefit. Give reason for answer.

#people #business #transactions #effects #individuals #society #concept #benefit #reason
Nowadays, people tend to perform everyday
tasks
 like banking shopping and business transaction online with no need to do it individually. Technology plays a major role in affecting individuals and society as it has advantages and disadvantages.
Not to mention
 that doing these
tasks
 do not take a lot of time
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past. As a matter of fact, it
also
 makes people lose the ability to interact with each other. First of all, running our errands has become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier at the present time. To put it differently, we started to think of methods that would save
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 time.
However
, relying on these methods might affect our society negatively. Sooner or later, that would cause problems in communicating with each other.
For example
, if someone has the chance to get his
tasks
 done
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 need to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 personally, he will choose
this
 method in a blink of an eye. Another thing to realize is that these ways would affect the person financially. With attention to that someone might get cyber theft easily using that concept. Significantly, it is not safe to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important
tasks
 like banking shopping and business transaction without attending
Change preposition
to it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 by ourselves. That's why we should keep our information secure to prevent any kind of theft to happen.
To sum up
, having our errands easily done is quite intriguing, but it
also
 can cause many problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals. As shown above, it is safer to do our
tasks
 by ourselves like we used to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 before.
Submitted by malak.ayman1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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