IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Now people performed everyday task such as banking shopping and business transactions without meeting one another. What possible effects in individuals and society. what are socialized drawbacks on this concept against benefit. Give reason for answer.

#people #business #transactions #effects #individuals #society #concept #benefit #reason
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Nowadays, people tend to perform everyday
tasks
Use synonyms
 like banking shopping and business transaction online with no need to do it individually. Technology plays a major role in affecting individuals and society as it has advantages and disadvantages.
Not to mention
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 that doing these
tasks
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 do not take a lot of time
unlike
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,unlike
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the
Change preposition
in the
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 past. As a matter of fact, it
also
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 makes people lose the ability to interact with each other. First of all, running our errands has become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier at the present time. To put it differently, we started to think of methods that would save
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 time.
However
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, relying on these methods might affect our society negatively. Sooner or later, that would cause problems in communicating with each other.
For example
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, if someone has the chance to get his
tasks
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 done
with
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without
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no
Correct determiner usage
the
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 need to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 personally, he will choose
this
Linking Words
 method in a blink of an eye. Another thing to realize is that these ways would affect the person financially. With attention to that someone might get cyber theft easily using that concept. Significantly, it is not safe to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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important
tasks
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 like banking shopping and business transaction without attending
Change preposition
to it
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 by ourselves. That's why we should keep our information secure to prevent any kind of theft to happen.
To sum up
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, having our errands easily done is quite intriguing, but it
also
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 can cause many problems
to
Change preposition
for
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the
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apply
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society and
the
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apply
show examples
individuals. As shown above, it is safer to do our
tasks
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 by ourselves like we used to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 before.
Submitted by malak.ayman1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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