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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teaching music in schools is vital, while others think it is unnecessary (opinion)

Certain
imdividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 believe that
music
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educatiob
Correct your spelling
education
 in
school
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 is important,
while
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 others consider that it is needless. In my opinion, teaching
music
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 is important for
students
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, who
has
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have
show examples
 potential in it. Pupils that do not think that they need
this
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subject
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 should not be forced to participate. For some
students
Use synonyms
 going to
music
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 classes are important and they need it.
Use synonyms
School
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Schools
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 can not cancel
this
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subject
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 just
beacuse
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because
 others think
otherwise
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. Pupils learn new notes,
song
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songs
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,
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and instrument
show examples
instrument
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instruments
show examples
 during the lessons. Teachers teach them how to sing, use their voice and how
to
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apply
show examples
breath
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breathe
show examples
 properly. One of my classmates is a great example of it.
While
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 we had
music
Use synonyms
 class in secondary
school
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 she learned a lot of
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 and now she lives in Turkey and sings there. She imbibed all the information that
tutor
Correct article usage
the tutor
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 gave us and used it.
On the other hand
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,
music
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lesson
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lessons
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 are
of
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apply
show examples
the most
unncessary
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unnecessary
 classes.
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
Student
Add an article
A student
The student
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 that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not want to sing or can sing can not see any point in
this
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 kind of
lessons
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lesson
show examples
. They do not want to play
on
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apply
show examples
any of the instruments, they do not
wat
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want
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 to sing or do anything
that is
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 related to
muic
Correct your spelling
music
. I was one of these
students
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. I know that I am not good
in
Change preposition
at
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 performing. I felt that I am
waisting
Correct your spelling
wasting
show examples
 my time
during
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that
subject
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. I could have done something that was really interesting for me. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 want to say that,
music
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 lessons are not for everybody.
In addition
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, I want to say that it should be in
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
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 programme.
However
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,
students
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 should not be forced to participate. Pupils who want to learn how to sing, play
on
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apply
show examples
instruments and
others thing
Fix the agreement mistake
other things
show examples
 should take part. Other scholars can choose another
subject
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 to join.

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