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Writing Samples
Band 6

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

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There are several reasons that contribute to educational success in a
student
Use synonyms
. Some people think that to achieve educational success is by having a good
teacher
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others say that it depends on the
student
Use synonyms
's attitude.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how both factors are affecting the study process A good
teacher
Use synonyms
 is someone who can teach well and encourage their
student
Use synonyms
 to thrive for the best. By having someone who can mentor us excellently, we would understand the subject better.
This
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 is why people tend to search for something that they did not understand at school on social media,
such
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 as YouTube
,
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apply
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 because the school
teacher
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 did not explain it clearly.
In addition
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, if they can elevate our morale and motivation, we
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be more driven to reach higher grades. These are why a great
teacher
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 is needed.
However
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,
this
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 scenario would not work if the
student
Use synonyms
 does not have the right attitude. If the
student
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 does not exert the same effort as the
teacher
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, it will all be in vain.
For instance
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, students who did not practice what they were learning would easily forget what the
teacher
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 said. Another example is a
student
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 who did not put all their attention to class would not get what the course means.
Consequently
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, the
student
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 would still fail the class no matter how good the
teacher
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 is. In conclusion, to achieve educational success is to have cooperation between the
teacher
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 and the
student
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. A
student
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 needs to have a mindful attitude but the
teacher
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also
Linking Words
 has to pour more effort into their teaching.
Therefore
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, by combining both elements, education would be successful.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Your paragraphing is adequate but could be enhanced by more varied linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion, both are present but could be more impactful. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate your opinion more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with developed arguments and examples. While your essay outlines general ideas, it lacks specific, detailed examples to strengthen the points made.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with a fully developed response. Your essay gives a general discussion but misses depth in analysing the interplay between teacher quality and student attitude.
task achievement
Include clear, comprehensive ideas that demonstrate an understanding of the topic and effectively communicate your opinion. Your essay's ideas could be more developed and insightful.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your claims. Your essay lacks concrete examples to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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