IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Task 2: The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #citizens’ #health #environment
It is often argued that in order for a country to progress more funding should be allocated to medical
research
instead
 of environmental protection.
While
 I agree that health
research
 does need extra funding,
this
 should not be at the expense of environmental preservation, which is
also
 crucial to a country’s development. The first benefit of funding for clinical
research
 is that it can have enormous impacts on human health.
This
 is because clinical experience can provide valuable feedback for improving the use of drugs.
For example
, the approval of a vaccine is based on a series of controlled clinical trials, often with a few hundred patients, but after approval, it can save millions of lives.
Therefore
, tracking clinical experience with the drug is important for determining
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 effectiveness in different populations.
Conversely
, without sufficient funding from the
government
, scientists could not carry out necessary
research
 to develop new medicines and treatment guidelines for the public.
On the other hand
, I
also
 support
government
 spending on the environment as only the
government
 can pass laws to protect the environment and create regulations to enforce those laws.
For example
, the
government
 can regulate wastewater management by requiring industries to emit only acceptable amounts of specific pollutants.
Furthermore
, another large-scale measure that only the
government
 can do is promote green energy. They could invest more in new-energy technologies to find better alternatives to fossil fuels. By doing so, each country can reduce its global emissions from energy production. In conclusion,
while
 I agree that clinical
research
 should receive substantial funding from the
government
 because of its tremendous benefits for the community, I still feel that only large-scale funding from the
government
 can address environmental issues.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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