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Band 5.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
People
 have different views on how to achieve
success
 some believe that we should take risks for being successful,
while
 others think measured planning is the key to
success
. The following essay will discuss both views in detail. On the one hand, it is a fact that taking risks is one of the most important keys to
success
.
Risk
 takers are smart and innovative
people
 as they have creative ideas and planning and they dare to take chances. Should the plan work out,
people
 would start to recognise and get attracted to their ideas and output, and soon it might become a big fortune for them.
For example
, in 2005 Steve Jobs created the Ipad tablet which was a newly developed product at that time.
Although
 there was a
risk
 of failure, he took the
risk
 of launching the product to the world and in the end, the tablet became a sensational device all over the world.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think the only way to
success
 is through careful and precise planning. They believe that in order to take new steps in life or to make a new business product,
people
 should have a good feasibility study and proper planning. By having good measurable planning, they would already anticipate and mitigate the
risk
 should there be any failure in the plan. In my opinion, I believe in the combination of both ideas as
people
 must have plans and dreams in their life and the way to achieve that dreams
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 through making action plans and taking
Add an article
a
the
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
risk
.
Submitted by jcjambu on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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