Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

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Modern technology,
such
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as
computers
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are
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is
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becoming an inseparable related section in primary education during lesson explanations. There exist both merits and demerits of
this
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tendency and my strong belief is that there are more benefits rather than
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
. Using
computers
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or laptops in lessons
is
Verb problem
does
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not with its disadvantages,
however
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.
Firt
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First
of all, most pupils have well
internet
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connection
in
Change preposition
on
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laptops right now and
this
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leads to copying the answers from the
Internet
Use synonyms
medias
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media
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easily.
As a result
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,
student
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students
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do not have to
foucus
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focus
on
theris
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these
tasks in
details
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detail
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on time, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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transfer self-study tasks from the
Internet
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.
In addition
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,
computers
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affect
to
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apply
show examples
both students’ and teachers’ healthy
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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.
For instance
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, they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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most time
on
Change preposition
apply
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making presentations or doing homework
in
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on
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laptops and
this
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causes
decline
Add an article
a decline
the decline
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of
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in
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eyesight
Correct pronoun usage
their eyesight
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. There are numerous advantages of being
computers
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in
Change preposition
at
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the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of the educational system. To start with,
computers
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and the
Internet
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are the power of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information to increase and gain new knowledge. In
this
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case, we have an opportunity to learn more
thing
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things
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which we can watch online explained lessons to prepare
exams
Change preposition
for exams
show examples
in secondary education.
Furthermore
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, we always cannot find paper books in libraries or shops even if we find them, their costs are sometimes exorbitant to buy them. Providing we have a laptop, we may upload everything
what
Change the word
that
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we search from the
Internet
Use synonyms
to a computer.
To conclude
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, utilizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computers
Use synonyms
in school education is vital but, in my personal position
is that
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,
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there are more beneficial sides than
ist bad
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negative
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consequences.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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task response
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be further developed to provide a clearer overview of your main points and opinion. Your main points are somewhat supported, but the examples and explanations could be more relevant and comprehensive. Make sure to address the prompt fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
You show some coherence and cohesion in your essay, but there are areas where the logical structure could be improved. Try to organize your ideas more clearly and use transition words to guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, work on developing a more coherent introduction and conclusion to frame your essay effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Edutainment
  • Multimedia resources
  • E-learning platforms
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Ergonomic hazards
  • Cognitive overload
  • Technological proficiency
  • Blended learning environments
  • Instructional technology
  • Adaptive software
  • Screen time management
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