IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

#people #usa #food #restaurants
The bar chart below illustrates the frequency of American
people
 who liked to eat in fast
food
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 during the
years
 2003 and 2013.
Overall
, the number of times that American
people
 went
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 fast
food
reastaurants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the highest
in
Change preposition
apply
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once a week in 2006, and twice a month in 2013.
Moreover
, the least per cent
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 eating junk
food
 was
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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among
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
years
. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 the number of
people
 who
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to eat fast
food
 both once a week and twice a month
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the same per cent
with
Change preposition
at
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 30% in 2003.
In addition
, the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 was very low in the number of
people
 who enjoyed eating fast
food
 with 5% and less.
Also
, less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 4% of
people
Change noun form
people's
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 frequency was on
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 in 2003, and 3% in the
years
 2006, and 2013.
Furthermore
,
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
show examples
 who went a few times have the same per cent in both
years
 2006 and 2013 with 15%.
Submitted by alrahbi9222 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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