IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

#people #usa #food #restaurants
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The bar chart below illustrates the frequency of American
people
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 who liked to eat in fast
food
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restaurant
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restaurants
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 during the
years
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 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of times that American
people
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 went
to
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too
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 fast
food
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reastaurants
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restaurants
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the highest
in
Change preposition
apply
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once a week in 2006, and twice a month in 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the least per cent
in
Change preposition
of
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 eating junk
food
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 was
on
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apply
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everyday
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every day
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among
Change preposition
over
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 the
years
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. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 the number of
people
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 who
prefered
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prefer
 to eat fast
food
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 both once a week and twice a month
were
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was
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 the same per cent
with
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at
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 30% in 2003.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
propotion
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proportion
promotion
 was very low in the number of
people
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 who enjoyed eating fast
food
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 with 5% and less.
Also
Linking Words
, less
Linking Words
then
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than
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 4% of
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people
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people's
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 frequency was on
everyday
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every day
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 in 2003, and 3% in the
years
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 2006, and 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
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 who went a few times have the same per cent in both
years
Use synonyms
 2006 and 2013 with 15%.
Submitted by alrahbi9222 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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