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Band 5

Some people think that stars do not deserve high salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stars #salaries
There are some
people
 who
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that
stars
 do not deserve high salaries. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will inform my personal opinion. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 there are many
stars
 who are annoying, they suppose that they are everything, they reckon, that they are higher than we,
additionaly
Correct your spelling
additionally
 they do not treat other
people
 well. In
this
case
Add a comma
,case
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 I agree that they do not deserve high salaries.
On the other hand
 as far as I am able to judge they deserve it. Being
celebrity
Add an article
a celebrity
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 is really uphill, some
people
 hate and bully them without even reason.
For
instance
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,instance
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 Selena Gomez is being hated because of her obesity, which I find is
aboniment
Correct your spelling
abonnement
atonement
, how can
people
 loathe someone whom they even do not know personally,
moreover
people
 hate her because of Justin Bieber, but no one knows what exactly happened between them.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
stars
 do not have privacy, we can know where they are, what they have done, with
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
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 they were and so on
due to
 Paparazzi. Being
celebrity
Correct article usage
a celebrity
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
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 its advantages,
however
 from my point of view there are more disadvantages than advantages,
therefore
 I suppose that the salary which they earn is not too high, I think they deserve it. In conclusion, even though some
people
 believe that
stars
 do not deserve high salaries, I reckon that being
celebrity
Correct article usage
a celebrity
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is extremely hard, and I suppose they deserve that.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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