IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays the way many people interact with eachother has changed because of technology. In what ways has teechnology affected the type of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #eachother #technology #teechnology #type #relationships #become #development
it is common knowledge, that
due to
technology
 communication has changed. In
this
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I will argue in what ways has
technology
 affected the type of relationships, and
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its advantages and disadvantages. on the one hand,
due to
 ,
technology
Add an article
the technology
a technology
show examples
 we can interact with whom we want to interact, with and where we want to. we can speak with relatives or
friends
 around the world,
also
 we can make new
friends
. there are many cases where
people
 got married because of the internet,
therefore
 the internet can be useful for many things,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 everything has its advantages and disadvantages and
technology
 is not an exception.
on the other hand
, when we go somewhere, unfortunately
for instance
, we can see a group of
friends
 who
instead
 of communication prefer phones or other devices,
moreover
 I would like to say that at these times I have no clue why, but
people
 are avoiding spending
time
 together, they just write to each other or call to each other and
that is
 all. which I find is no good. as far as I am able to judge it is not
technology
's fault, it is
people
's fault, they do not understand that
time
 is not our friend and we have to spend our
time
 efficiently, we should spend our
time
 with members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
, with
friends
, and relatives, if we just spend our
time
 watching videos or photos of other
people
 it will give us nothing. in ,conclusion even though it has both effects and negative and positive, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 there are more positive developments than
negative
Correct pronoun usage
onesnegative
show examples
.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: