IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
getting
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 at college or
university
Use synonyms
 is
greatest
Change the article
the greatest
show examples
 way to take a
position
Use synonyms
 in every wanted sphere.
However
Linking Words
, others
reckoning
Wrong verb form
reckon
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 is better to find employment.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are benefits from working after
school
Use synonyms
,I would argue that it is better to go to
university
Use synonyms
 or college .In the following paragraphs,let me elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 viewpoints and share my
position
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 drawback. The point of
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 work straight after
school
Use synonyms
 is so stunningly solution .Lots of
people
Use synonyms
 want to earn money as soon as available.And
this
Linking Words
 is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 reason to start working after
high-
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.Because of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,many teenagers are able to get experience
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 future
humanity
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 means that,on account of less responsibility on your head,when you make a significant mistake in your
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 ages,you would have
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more chances to correct it than in
adult
Correct pronoun usage
your adult
show examples
 years.But the accomplish,which you can get at
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
your job time,will be able to help you in your future
position
Use synonyms
 in each sphere.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,we have to think about new
technology
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 science or on our lifestyle,which is
speedly
Correct your spelling
speedily
speedy
 improving
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
.
Humanity
Use synonyms
 must develop
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all sides respectively to new
technology
Use synonyms
.In my opinion,we have to be ready for
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 generation of
technology
Use synonyms
.Because
active
Correct article usage
the active
show examples
 evolution of
technology
Use synonyms
 poses a threat to
humanity
Use synonyms
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots and machines can replace
Use synonyms
position
Add an article
the position
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in future.But do not forget that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots and machines are
absolutely
Replace the adverb
absolute
show examples
 without emotions and morality.And because of them
Humanity
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 must be developed,and
people
Use synonyms
 should go to
university
Use synonyms
 to improve
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 knowledge about
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 world and
humanity
Use synonyms
.And
this
Linking Words
 is noticed that
consequence
Correct article usage
the consequence
show examples
 from study at
university
Use synonyms
 is better than working straight after
school
Use synonyms
 for us. In conclusion,I believe that
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 employment after
school
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits for our life,but
consequence
Add an article
a consequence
the consequence
show examples
 of ending
university
Use synonyms
 would be better.
Submitted by 29th of april on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
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