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Band 5.5

Question: some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discus both views and give your opinion

#people #sport #part #school #life #children #discus
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It
is often argue
Change the verb form
is often argued
show examples
 the importance of
sports
Use synonyms
 as part of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 curriculum for young generations. It appears that there are some people who believe that it should be only optional.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 it will discuss the benefits and cons of the topic. On the one hand, there are various reasons why physical education should be
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 part of
Add an article
the children
a children
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 school
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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.
Firstly
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, there are some significant
lesson
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lessons
show examples
 that children can learn
while
Linking Words
 doing
this
Linking Words
 subject
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
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 team cooperation, leadership and being
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good sport
good sports
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
. Which they can apply
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their daily life or future jobs.
Secondly
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, doing
Linking Words
this activities
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
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 helps kids to be fit and healthy. Running activities,
for instance
Linking Words
, is a great way to
loose
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lose
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 weight.
Lastly
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, we all know that not all students are meant to be clever in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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primary subjects. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 chance some of them will excel more in
sports
Use synonyms
. It means
this
Linking Words
 can be the chance that their teacher can discover their talent and help them succeed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are some opponents of
sports
Use synonyms
to be
Change the verb form
being
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 part
in
Change preposition
of
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
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. They believe that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should focus on major school subjects
such
Linking Words
 as Math, Science and English.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the subjects that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can help us to excel in
their
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 future job.
In addition
Linking Words
, they think that Physical education is just a waste
time
Change preposition
of time
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 and they rather use their time reading books and revising. Another negative of doing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 is it can be an additional expense for the parents. Having additional
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
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 for the class and
their
Replace the word
there
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 is a chance of buying some
sports
Use synonyms
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 which can burden the tight budget of
familes
Correct your spelling
families
. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 in schools outweigh the disadvantages. There are various benefits and unforgettable
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 that a kid will remember forever.
Submitted by Maria_magsakay on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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