IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. galib

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. galib
#bar #divorce #rates #two #european #countries #galib
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the bar chart illustrates the percentage of
divorce
Use synonyms
 in two European countries (
Finland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
) over a five years period between 2011 and 2015.
overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
divorce
Use synonyms
 rate in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Use synonyms
Finland
Change preposition
in Finland
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.The most significant difference showed between
Finland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in 2012. In 2011,the percentage of
divorce
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Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 in
Finland
Use synonyms
 was 38%
while
Linking Words
 the rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was 42%.In 2012,
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
divorce
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 was 49% which was 17% higher than
Use synonyms
Finland
Change noun form
Finland's
show examples
.
Sweden
Use synonyms
touch
Change the verb form
touches
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the
Change the word
its
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 peak point
on
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 year .In 2013 and 2014
Sweden
Use synonyms
's
rates
Use synonyms
 were around 50% and more than 40%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
rates
Use synonyms
 of
Finland
Use synonyms
 were below 40% and around 41%. In 2015 , only
this
Linking Words
 year the
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of
divorce
Use synonyms
 in
Finland
Use synonyms
 was 41% which was 3 % more than the
Sweden
Use synonyms
divorce
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
.
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words divorce, finland, sweden, rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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