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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

(tanha ) The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

(tanha ) The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the percentage of divorces in
Finland
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 and
Sweden
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 over a 5 - year
period
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 between 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Sweden
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 experienced a downward trend
while
Linking Words
Finland
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 showed an upward trend
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
period
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.Both
countries
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country's
countries'
show examples
 divorce rates
has
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have
show examples
 some fluctuations.
Furthurmore
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Furthermore
,
Finland
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initially
Linking Words
 had a lower rate than
Sweden
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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.
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
 divorce rate
was45
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was 45
% in 2011then it rose slightly to 48%in 2012.
However
Linking Words
,the
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figure
figures
figuare
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figure
 showed
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 decrease to 47% in 2013 and
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dropped
droped
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dropped
stradily
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steadily
strategy
 to the end of the
period
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 around 45% in 2014 and 37% in 2015 Tanha (IELTS): The percentage of divorce rate in
Finland
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 was 36% in 2011 and it decreased in 2012.
However
Linking Words
,it rose to 39% in 2013 and 40% in 2014 and remained
stwady
Correct your spelling
steady
 in 2015

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words finland, sweden, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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