IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #age
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it is sometimes argued
that
Correct word choice
apply
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whether should everyone stay in
school
befoor
Correct your spelling
before
18
Correct pronoun usage
they 18
show examples
years
 old.
While
 there are some merits of leaving
school
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 the age of 18,
but
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apply
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 do believe that
school
 can be conducive to
peosonal
Correct your spelling
personal
development
. It is obvious that prohibiting
students
 to leave
school
 before 18
years
 old limits
students
’ right to choose their lives. A typical case of
this
 point is that some families are under the stress of finance, they can’t afford their children’s
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
. So
students
 have to leave
school
 and go to work.
In addition
, some
students
 are not interested in
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 but they have the talents
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other things. Their wish of leaving
school
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be considered twice by
Correct article usage
the school’s
show examples
school’s
Change noun form
school
show examples
 leaders.
Nevertheless
, it is my personal belief that staying in
school
 until
students
 reach the age of 18 has more positive effects.
To begin
 with, before 18
years
, many children are not mature. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, their correct values are not cultivated completely. They don’t know what is right and what they should do.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 can guide
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 correct way to deal with things and promote their
development
.
Moreover
, people under 18
years
 old may not have the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 self-control. They may be prone to some
misbehaviors
Change the spelling
misbehaviours
show examples
 by others or some
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 TV and they are easier to be addicted
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 computer games. Teachers can help to lower
this
 situation and correct the false ideas immediately.
Last
 but not least,
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 can teach a lot of things to
students
. Not only some academic knowledge are provided to
students
, but
also
 some activities including sports, films and visits, which can nature children’s better hobbies. And
also
school
 can stimulate the formation of
students
’ skills, which is not limited to communication skills, creativity and social skills. These can
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 the
all-round
Correct your spelling
all-around
show examples
development
 of
students
. It can be necessary for them when they go to work. In a nutshell, staying in
school
 can be more beneficial to
students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
show examples
development
. It can motivate
students’
Change noun form
students
show examples
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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more versatile
elites
Correct the article-noun agreement
elite
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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