IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #age
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it is sometimes argued
that
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apply
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whether should everyone stay in
school
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befoor
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before
18
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they 18
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years
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 old.
While
Linking Words
 there are some merits of leaving
school
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befor
Correct your spelling
before
 the age of 18,
but
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apply
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i
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I
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 do believe that
school
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 can be conducive to
peosonal
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personal
development
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. It is obvious that prohibiting
students
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 to leave
school
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 before 18
years
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 old limits
students
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’ right to choose their lives. A typical case of
this
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 point is that some families are under the stress of finance, they can’t afford their children’s
tution
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tuition
. So
students
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 have to leave
school
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 and go to work.
In addition
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, some
students
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 are not interested in
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 but they have the talents
on
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for
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 other things. Their wish of leaving
school
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shoud
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should
 be considered twice by
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Correct article usage
the school’s
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school’s
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school
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 leaders.
Nevertheless
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, it is my personal belief that staying in
school
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 until
students
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 reach the age of 18 has more positive effects.
To begin
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 with, before 18
years
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, many children are not mature. In
other word
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another word
other words
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, their correct values are not cultivated completely. They don’t know what is right and what they should do.
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School
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Schools
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 can guide
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 correct way to deal with things and promote their
development
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.
Moreover
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, people under 18
years
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 old may not have the ability
of
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to
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 self-control. They may be prone to some
misbehaviors
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misbehaviours
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 by others or some
violence
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violent
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 TV and they are easier to be addicted
in
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to
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 computer games. Teachers can help to lower
this
Linking Words
 situation and correct the false ideas immediately.
Last
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 but not least,
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school
Add an article
the school
a school
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 can teach a lot of things to
students
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. Not only some academic knowledge are provided to
students
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, but
also
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 some activities including sports, films and visits, which can nature children’s better hobbies. And
also
Linking Words
school
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 can stimulate the formation of
students
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’ skills, which is not limited to communication skills, creativity and social skills. These can
favor
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favour
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 the
all-round
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all-around
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development
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 of
students
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. It can be necessary for them when they go to work. In a nutshell, staying in
school
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 can be more beneficial to
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students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
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development
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. It can motivate
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students’
Change noun form
students
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become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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more versatile
elites
Correct the article-noun agreement
elite
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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