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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk
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It is believed that taking
risks
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 for both professional and personal lives is essential for
people
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’s growth. There are benefits when making risky decisions
This
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 argument offers some benefits,
such
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 as ability improvement and
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more
confidence
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confident
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improvementt
Correct your spelling
improvement
improvements
.
However
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, these upsides
also
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 have some drawbacks as well,
for
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instance
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,instance
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lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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 both money and
job
Correct article usage
a job
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. On the one hand, by taking
risks
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,
people
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 are able to improve their own
capability
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capabilities
show examples
, whether related to work
and
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or
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 to their privacy. To illustrate, a scientist can gain more knowledge by doing new research that
have
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has
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 never been done before.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 who like to challenge themselves usually gain more confidence.
Additionally
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,
this
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 merit is useful for every
aspects
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aspect
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for
Change preposition
of
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 their lives.
For example
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, to win an election, a politician has to trust herself beyond her limit to conduct a campaign to promote herself.
As a result
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,
this
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 is not only positive for her personal life but for her professional life as well.
On the other hand
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, in terms of the downsides of taking
risks
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, some
people
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 find it harmful
due to
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 the effect where they might lose a lot of money and lose jobs too. Some
people
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 who usually
gambling
Wrong verb form
gamble
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, not only
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risks
Change the verb form
risk
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 their savings
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but in most
cases
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,cases
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gambler
Fix the agreement mistake
gamblers
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 are often found in huge debt and some of them might lose their job.
Therefore
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,
the taking
Change to a genitive case
the perspective of the taking risk
the perspective of the taking risks
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risks
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 perspective
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 always useful for some
people
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.
To sum up
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,
Although
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 some
people
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 choose not to take
risks
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due to
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 downside some others believe that it has important roles in their lives.
Thus
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, in
term
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terms
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 of quality, I think that those who use
this
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 ‘taking
risks
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’ in
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 always benefit
by
Change preposition
from
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this
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 idea,
this
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 is the reason why the advantages
are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
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 the disadvantages.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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