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Band 5.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors
In
this
 modern era, there is an ever-increasing number of
people
 who
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 close to each other very much by helping one another.
However
, some
people
 believe that they do not have time to communicate with others.
This
 increase
stem
Correct subject-verb agreement
stems
show examples
 from a variety of reasons and some solution will be suggested to address
this
 problem. There is no doubt that living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large cities will bring manifold community issues. A number of
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 may account for
people
 will tend to live alone and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to meet one another in urban
areas
. Because they
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 spend time on their work and get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
promotions, so they do not care about
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others. The most familiar example is that in Da Nang city, with
busy
Add an article
a busy
show examples
 life,
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here always ignore and do not want to interact with their surrounding
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
However
, there are still some
people
 who make friends and communicate with others around them.
In deed
Correct your spelling
Indeed
show examples
, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 quite that
people
 not knowing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 is still a serious problem. It can
also
 be argued that there are many solutions that can fix the issues .
this
 will bring about profound influences on citizens, they can construct a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 club in the residential
areas
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise with each other and establish a range of new relationships with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. A clear example is that, in Viet Nam, residential
areas
 have improved and built collective clubs to enhance friendships. Especially, thanks to clubs citizens get to know everyone better,
this
 will help the to be more active in society.
Whereas
,
this
 is almost not available in all
areas
.
Thus
, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 no difference that they can connect with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media to contact easily. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a variety of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for contributing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays
people
 want to live their private lives. Citizens and local authorities should take proactive measures to tackle
this
 problem.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
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