Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is
am
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
opinion that celebrities
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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known
as
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apply
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for glamour and wealth
are
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is
show examples
famous
Correct quantifier usage
more famous
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than achieve.
While
a reckon that
this
is a bad
example
for
Correct your spelling
young
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youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
,I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others can occupy cool role models On the first hand, crucial meaning that many
people
do achieve without really hard working for it.Lots
people
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of people
show examples
,who do not do
correct
Change the word
correctly
show examples
hard-working,can take significant
achieve
Replace the word
achievements
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
their
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
.They may be inherited
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money from parents,married
to
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apply
show examples
eminent
partner
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partners
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,or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may be
on
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in
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gossip journals on a really TV projects.
For
example
,
Antonela
Correct your spelling
Antonella
Roccuzzo
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
wife of legendary football player Lionel Messi.She is rich and
wife
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the wife
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of the most famous player in the world.
Antonelo
Correct your spelling
Antonello
goes to Messi's matches and morally
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
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him.They have
being
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been
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married since 2017.The wife of
football
Correct article usage
a football
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player became famous
by
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through
show examples
her husband,but she did not exertion be herself.The allusion for young
people
is that success can be achieved easily,and their projects and school works are not necessary for it
On the other hand
,there are as least as many examples
to
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of
show examples
role models
by
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apply
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hard
working
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work
show examples
,whose accomplishments can be
glorious
Add an article
a glorious
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example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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for young
people
.
Musician
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Musicians
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,athletes,actors and social media stars make considerable
achieve
Replace the word
achievements
show examples
only
by
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through
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their
really
Change the adverb
real
show examples
diligence.They work for more than 5-6 hours per day for their target and in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
they will get
resultat
Correct your spelling
results
of these
endeavor
Correct your spelling
endeavours
show examples
.
For
example
,Will Smith.He is one of the most famous
people
in the world.He tried to be
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
main roles and worked for
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
in the future.Nowadays,I believe that he earns millions of dollars lying at home being a celebrated and achieved actor.If the youth watch
connection
Add an article
the connection
show examples
between trying and success,they will want to start their programmes and projects for their goal.Because,in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
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that
this
type of celebrated
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
can pull youth to the good side In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
I recommend everybody to try to do for achieve ,who knows, maybe you can too?
Submitted by 29th of april on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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