Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is
am
opinion that celebrities Correct your spelling
an
are
known Correct pronoun usage
who are
as
for glamour and wealth Change preposition
apply
are
Change the verb form
is
famous
than achieve.Correct quantifier usage
more famous
While
a reckon that this
is a bad example
for Correct your spelling
young
youngs
,I believe that Correct your spelling
young
the
others can occupy cool role models
On the first hand, crucial meaning that many Correct article usage
apply
people
do achieve without really hard working for it.Lots people
,who do not do Change preposition
of people
correct
hard-working,can take significant Change the word
correctly
achieve
Replace the word
achievements
by
their Change preposition
through
opportunity
.They may be inherited Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
by
money from parents,married Change preposition
apply
to
eminent Change preposition
apply
partner
,or Fix the agreement mistake
partners
they
may be Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
gossip journals on a really TV projects.Change preposition
in
For
example
,Antonela
Roccuzzo Correct your spelling
Antonella
who
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
wife of legendary football player Lionel Messi.She is rich and Correct article usage
the
wife
of the most famous player in the world.Correct article usage
the wife
Antonelo
goes to Messi's matches and morally Correct your spelling
Antonello
support
him.They have Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
being
married since 2017.The wife of Change the form of the verb
been
football
player became famous Correct article usage
a football
by
her husband,but she did not exertion be herself.The allusion for young Change preposition
through
people
is that success can be achieved easily,and their projects and school works are not necessary for it
On the other hand
,there are as least as many examples to
role models Change preposition
of
by
hard Change preposition
apply
working
,whose accomplishments can be Replace the word
work
glorious
Add an article
a glorious
example
for young Fix the agreement mistake
examples
people
.Musician
,athletes,actors and social media stars make considerable Fix the agreement mistake
Musicians
achieve
only Replace the word
achievements
by
their Change preposition
through
really
diligence.They work for more than 5-6 hours per day for their target and in the Change the adverb
real
future
they will get Add a comma
,future
resultat
of these Correct your spelling
results
endeavor
.Correct your spelling
endeavours
For
example
,Will Smith.He is one of the most famous people
in the world.He tried to be on
main roles and worked for Change preposition
in
result
in the future.Nowadays,I believe that he earns millions of dollars lying at home being a celebrated and achieved actor.If the youth watch Fix the agreement mistake
results
connection
between trying and success,they will want to start their programmes and projects for their goal.Because,in my Add an article
the connection
opinion
that Add the comma(s)
,opinion
this
type of celebrated talents
can pull youth to the good side
In Fix the agreement mistake
talent
conclusion
I recommend everybody to try to do for achieve ,who knows, maybe you can too?Add a comma
,conclusion
Submitted by 29th of april on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!