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Band 5

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#obesity #countries #support
The number of
people
 who are gaining
weight
 is increasing in many countries, mainly in
the
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apply
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high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
 countries.
This
 is one of the main issues that nations need to consider.
This
 essay will discuss two main solutions to
this
 problem.
The
Correct article usage
Obesity
show examples
obesity
 is a serious issue that can cause damage to individuals’ health
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 to old
people
. One of the solutions is to improve the advertisement by health ministries to give a clear picture of what
humen
Correct your spelling
humans
 can lose because of
obesity
.
For example
, in
Europe
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,Europe
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 they try to show a lot of advertisements
in
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on
show examples
 their TV channels or radio stations to elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
 sickness of being obese and the
benifts
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of eating healthy food,
as a result
, many
people
 start to get influenced by it and start to eat
healthy
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healthily
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 and reduce their
weight
.
Furthermore
,
private
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the private
show examples
sectors
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sector
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 should help the government by making a special discount for the
people
 who are having more
weight
 to join a sports club and provide them with
a
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apply
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nutirtion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
plans
Fix the agreement mistake
plan
show examples
.
For instance
, in the USA a number of gyms give
the
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apply
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people
 who suffer from
obesity
 a 50 per cent discount for
1 year
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1-year
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subsicription
Correct your spelling
subscription
along with
 a special coach who
trines
Correct your spelling
tries
 them 3 times a week and provides them with a food plan, and because of that a large number of
people
 lose their
weight
 and they start to live a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion,
obesity
 is a very serious sickness that many
people
 are suffering from, and that can be the main reason
of
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apply
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a lot of
people
 are getting sick and
many
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having many
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 heart problems. All countries should take it seriously recognize
this
 issue and provide a proper solution, like using
the
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apply
show examples
technology to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
individuals or making good offers from private companies.
Submitted by alrahbi9222 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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