Some people think that having a retirement age of 65 years is unfair. They believe that certain workers should retire earlier and get pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree? Give examples

#people #retirement #age #years #workers #pension

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The retirement

age

Use synonyms

in most countries is 65 which some

people

Use synonyms

think is totally fine,

while

Linking Words

there are communities that differ about it and think that it must be much less.

This

Linking Words

essay will demonstrate that the

people

Use synonyms

who are unhappy with retirement

age

Use synonyms

are right but will

also

Linking Words

define the reasons why

people

Use synonyms

need to work up

Change preposition

to 65

show examples

years old. In my sight of ,view the retirement

age

Use synonyms

must be much

Change the word

apply

show examples

less than what it is, there are lots of reasons but I think the most important one is that there will be more opportunities for

new

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a new

the new

show examples

generation, they could find jobs more easily and I think they could be more in need of it than

Change the article

show examples

old employer.

Linking Words

secondly

Add a comma

,secondly

show examples

in my idea

people

Use synonyms

who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

older than 50 are unable to do their work

as well as

Linking Words

they have to do it because physically and mentally after working

several

Change preposition

for several

show examples

years their bodies can not perform as

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

performed in the past, on

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

other hand

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another hand

other hands

show examples

if a young employer

that is

Linking Words

full of energy could do

furthermore

Linking Words

, for ,example a primary school teacher can not be a 65 years old man, I am telling

this

Linking Words

from my own experience

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because when human

age

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increase they will

lost

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lose

be lost

show examples

their patient and mentally unable to teach will future doctors and engineers. ,

Linking Words

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

there is another important reason that if the governments

decreas

Correct your spelling

decrease

the

retirenment

Correct your spelling

retirement

age

Use synonyms

younger workers and

employes

Correct your spelling

employees

show examples

could find

Add an article

a job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

more easy

Replace the words

easier

show examples

than now and it can be a solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

problems

such

Linking Words

economy

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the economy

show examples

and

encorage

Correct your spelling

encourage

peolpe

Correct your spelling

people

to make new families and relations. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there are some

people

Use synonyms

who support the role of

retirenment

Correct your spelling

retirement

at the

ahe

Correct your spelling

age

of 65,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

prespectively

Correct your spelling

respectively

prospectively

I think if governments give the chance

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

generation it could be better for

socitey

Correct your spelling

society

Submitted by asgharrrlashkariii on Tue Feb 28 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

304 words

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Some people think that having a retirement age of 65 years is unfair. They believe that certain workers should retire earlier and get pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree? Give examples

Fully explain your ideas

20.People who damage public property, such as buildings or status should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

Comany ask for employee personal information for hiring do you agree and give your opinion

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this?