Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
there are a huge number of people
holding the point that we can keep good social relationships with folk whom we work
with, many others believe we should just get on well with those in daily activity. It is easy to understand these two points of view and I prefer to support the former one.
On one
hand, it is undoubtedly that getting too close to Correct article usage
the one
people
in the workplace is a bit unnecessity. One reason why this
is so is that people
here to work
are all obliged to conduct complex and highly required tasks which don't permit them extra time to get to each other very clearly. If they devote much of their time and energy in deal
with private relationships ,they might not focus on the performance which does harm the profit of the company. Something else to be taken into account is that Change preposition
to dealing
people
tend to protect their private life which is only accepted by their families and friends and refuse to share a social life with work
fellows. For instance
, when they are falling in love with a boy or a girl ,they may just share the information with whom they trust and not let colleagues know.
On the other hand
, there are also
many people
who suggest we can earn a salary and make good friends at the same time. Indeed, many of us give great importance to interpersonal relationships. If you are working alongside people
you like and the atmosphere in the office is positive, you are much more likely to be satisfied with your work
. Likewise
, it is also
critical for you to build a strong relationship to earn support and personal influence. When you are prepared to get a promotion , it is the decisive factor whether you can earn the confidence of your superiors and get endorsed by your exterior
.
In conclusion ,I would say that whether someone is willing to develop a fantastic social life with Fix the agreement mistake
exteriors
people
in the workplace is up to their own ,and I support the idea that we should get well with our fellows in the meanwhile
when we earn money.Correct your spelling
meantime
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task response
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks in-depth discussion. More focus should be placed on clearly presenting both views and giving a more balanced opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but there is a need for clearer structuring and linking of ideas within paragraphs. Consider using more cohesive devices to improve overall coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite