Many students take part-time jobs while studding in university. Do you think it is a good idea or bad idea?

Most university
students
do part-time jobs
while
they do their
studies
. It can be an excellent idea and
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
a bad idea
while
doing the
studies
. Mostly,
students
nowadays,do work to get an extra income
while
completing their
studies
.There are two types of
students
, The
students
,who are depending on their parents, and complete their
studies
.some
students
are covering up their
studies
while
paying for the course by themself by doing a part-time job. There are advantages and disadvantages for university
students
who are studying and ,In another hand, who are willingly adapted to a part-time job.
Firstly
, Referring to the advantages,
students
can be very much independent by doing part-time
while
their studying.
also
, they can learn about "Real
Life
" and "
Life
Struggles".
Secondly
,we can discuss ,about disadvantages ,Being a student who
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
to depend on their parents they won't be able to know how "Real
life
USE SYNONYMS activitygrowthheartsoul It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. " and "
Life
struggles" work out for them. Pupils won't have any experience
due to
the main fact
that is
being pointed out.
Overall
,In my opinion,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Personally I suggest doing a part-time job
while
doing my
studies
.In
this
case, we are able to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent
students
Correct the article-noun agreement
student
show examples
and can shine in the future.
Submitted by nayantharadesilva1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: