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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
For many decades, there have been many conflicting views about the improvement of public
health
. Some
people
 believe that one of the possible solutions is increasing the number of
sports
 facilities. Some others, including me, claim that
this
 would not be the best solution as there are many better approaches to tackle
this
 worrying trend. On the one hand, improving the number of easy-to-reach
sports
 facilities can help
people
 suffering from a sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions to be more active and healthier. Because that lifestyle may cause some diseases
such
 as obesity, or high blood pressure.
This
 approach can lead
people
 to make regular exercise rather than collapsing in front of the computer screen all day.
As a result
, they may prevent those diseases
as well as
 be healthy.
Nonetheless
,
this
 solution may be effective just for
people
 who have enough motivation but do not have access to
sports
 facilities easily.
On the other hand
, there are many other possible solutions, which may be more successful.
Firstly
, authorities should make medicines and medical supplies available and affordable.
For example
, some
people
 who live in deprived areas or low-income
people
 cannot afford some medicines.
Secondly
, some
people
 are ignorant about some diseases and
also
 the positive benefits of doing sport or having a healthy diet.
Therefore
, the government should increase awareness of society about
health
 by developing some programs or advertisements. In conclusion,
although
 increasing the number of
sports
 centres can have many positive effects on public
health
,
such
 as encouraging
people
 to do daily exercise, may not be the best approach. There are some other approaches to improving public
health
, like making medicines accessible or teaching
people
 about the public
health
 system.
Submitted by ha.mahsa73 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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