The bar graph below shows about the ampunt of virus affected

The bar graph below shows about the ampunt of virus affected
The paragraph explains how
bananas
are produced before it is sold in supermarkets. It manifest several stages of production from the growing and picking stages to when lorries the
bananas
to supermarkets and when customers buy them
while
they are shopping . There are seven main stages between the
bananas
being planted and being bought . First of all ,
bananas
are grown for nine months to one year when it is picked by hand . After that , The
bananas
are checked it is good or bad
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and kept when the fruit is good .
Then
, the
bananas
are shipped in 13.3c fridges . Next , the resting stage is special rooms where
bananas
become yellow .
Then
, the lorries deliver the
bananas
to the supermarket .
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
customers buy
bananas
when they are shopping .
Submitted by Askabuomar on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bananas with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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