IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals think that voluntary social programs
such
Linking Words
 as charity
affairs
Use synonyms
, developing neighbourhood or
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at the gym should be mandatory in high schools for youngsters. I personally agree with the given statements on the basis of learning, social behaviour and encounter with hard situations.
To begin
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 with, the main reason is that social behaviour is a determining factor when young
people
Use synonyms
 want to get a job. Community
affairs
Use synonyms
 lead
students
Use synonyms
deal
Add the particle
to deal
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 that not only
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 without getting a salary
to
Change preposition
for
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 their job, but some of them spent money from their
pocket
Fix the agreement mistake
pockets
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 charity
affairs
Use synonyms
. The more
participate
Replace the word
participation
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 in community
affairs
Use synonyms
 by youngsters, the better improve their social manners.
For example
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, feeding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
 at church can enhance
sympathy
Correct article usage
the sympathy
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 of
students
Use synonyms
 with individuals who
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not sufficient money to prepare daily food.
Hence
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, free public jobs can increase the responsibility of young
students
Use synonyms
 to society. Having said that,
however
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,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of social behaviour
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not the only factor in
this
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 respect, other arguments is that children will be encountered
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hard situations that they have not experienced yet.
That is
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 to say,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 unpaid social jobs
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 almost the types of occupation which most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 didn't know about them and they may face them in the future.
Therefore
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,
Students
Use synonyms
 are more likely to learn how to solve the unpredictable problems that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may exist
on
Change preposition
in
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 the hard condition.
For instance
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, teaching English to foreign
students
Use synonyms
 is a good experience for
students
Use synonyms
, to know more about the culture of other countries.
Thus
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, they would know how to manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems and deal with them.
To conclude
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, I personally agree that the view that it is acceptable to put
students
Use synonyms
 on free public services.
This
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 is mainly because young
people
Use synonyms
 need to know how to behave in society and how to deal with problems in their real life.

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