Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion

Some
people
consider that
violence
on
television
and in computer
games
has a negative impact on
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
while
others disagree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that it has some benefits on
people
’s
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
. Personally, I agree with
this
statement because of its detrimental effect on
people
’s
health
and
inspiration
Correct article usage
the inspiration
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
crime
. First and foremost,
crime
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
on
television
are affecting
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of youngsters, elderly
people
, and pregnant women in a negative. Since they are in sensitive age of lifecycle, these kinds of contents unconsciously influence their body and mind. After watching
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
news on
tv
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
,
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of pregnant women could become worse caused
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
fear and confusion
of
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about
show examples
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
. It is proven that pregnant women are likely to receive information by overreacting
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since
violence
provides shocking information about
Add an article
the case
show examples
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
.
Similarly
,
crime
and death news bring more impact
to
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on
show examples
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
and
youngsters
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youngsters'
youngster's
show examples
health
.
For some
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Some
show examples
elderly
people
, they could face heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
after hearing and watching
violence
on
tv
because of their age and
health
condition.
Moreover
, it is interesting to note that
violence
on
television
and computer
games
could take
inspiration
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
new cases. There are many youngsters watching
violence
on
tv
and unconsciously
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
inspiration
from
content
Correct article usage
the content
show examples
. We can see that our kids easily copy actions and
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
on
television
because of their age. It leads them to be involved in some cases in
teenage
Correct pronoun usage
their teenage
show examples
. There is
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
that children who watch
violence
or play these kinds of
games
would like to do
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
because of their
inspiration
from that. Unfortunately, these contents
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
possible
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
inspire anyone to do
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
by its repetition on
tv
.
For instance
, in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
recent survey conducted, it is said that
crime
and
violence
on
tv
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
affecting on
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
mind like advertising on
tv
. In a conclusion, some
people
think that
violence
on
tv
and computer
games
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the community
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative
Change the word
negatively
show examples
while
others believe that it has some benefits.
For
Change preposition
Me
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, I agree with
this
statement because it has
overall
disadvantages including
bad
Add an article
the bad
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
on
health
and creating
inspiration
Add an article
the inspiration
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
crime
.
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Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • emotional and psychological development
  • impair
  • empathy
  • contributing factor
  • distinction
  • fiction and reality
  • mature audiences
  • reflective
  • prevalence
  • societal issues
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