Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion
Some
people
consider that violence
on television
and in computer games
has a negative impact on community
Add an article
the community
while
others disagree with
that it has some benefits on Change preposition
apply
people
’s attitude
. Personally, I agree with Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
this
statement because of its detrimental effect on people
’s health
and inspiration
Correct article usage
the inspiration
of
Change preposition
for
crime
.
First and foremost, crime
contents
on Fix the agreement mistake
content
television
are affecting health
of youngsters, elderly Add an article
the health
people
, and pregnant women in a negative. Since they are in sensitive age of lifecycle, these kinds of contents unconsciously influence their body and mind. After watching violence
news on Replace the word
violent
tv
channel
, Fix the agreement mistake
channels
health
of pregnant women could become worse caused Add an article
the health
by
fear and confusion Change preposition
of
of
Change preposition
about
news
. It is proven that pregnant women are likely to receive information by overreactingCorrect article usage
the news
,
since Remove the comma
apply
violence
provides shocking information about Add an article
the case
case
. Fix the agreement mistake
cases
Similarly
, crime
and death news bring more impact to
Change preposition
on
elderly
and Correct article usage
the elderly
youngsters
Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
health
. For some
elderly Change preposition
Some
people
, they could face heart attack
after hearing and watching Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
violence
on tv
because of their age and health
condition.
Moreover
, it is interesting to note that violence
on television
and computer games
could take inspiration
of
new cases. There are many youngsters watching Change preposition
from
violence
on tv
and unconsciously get
Wrong verb form
getting
inspiration
from content
. We can see that our kids easily copy actions and Correct article usage
the content
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
showed
on Wrong verb form
shown
television
because of their age. It leads them to be involved in some cases in teenage
. There is Correct pronoun usage
their teenage
survey
that children who watch Add an article
a survey
the survey
violence
or play these kinds of games
would like to do crime
because of their Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
inspiration
from that. Unfortunately, these contents are
possible Unnecessary verb
apply
to
inspire anyone to do Fix the infinitive
apply
crime
by its repetition on Correct article usage
a crime
tv
. For instance
, in the
recent survey conducted, it is said that Correct article usage
a
crime
and violence
on tv
is
affecting on Change the verb form
are
human’s
mind like advertising on Change noun form
human
tv
.
In a conclusion, some people
think that violence
on tv
and computer games
are
affecting Correct subject-verb agreement
is
to
the community Change preposition
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
negative
Change the word
negatively
while
others believe that it has some benefits. For
Change preposition
Me
me
, I agree with Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
statement because it has overall
disadvantages including bad
Add an article
the bad
effect
on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
health
and creating inspiration
Add an article
the inspiration
of
Change preposition
for
crime
.Submitted by ganorgil0927 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.